Saturday, May 16, 2009

15 Ways to Spice Up Your Love Life by Jessica Brown

The moment finally feels right: You got the kids to bed, you've slipped into something sexy that's not stained with finger paint, and then...zzz. You are conked out. For you and your partner, the lure of sleep wins out over sex yet again.

Moms rarely have time and energy in abundance, but fortunately, you don't need either to add sizzle to a sex life that might be slumping, says Lou Paget, a sex educator and the author of Hot Mamas (Doubleday Canada). Get Paget’s tips on reconnecting with your husband inside and outside the bedroom:

Make a date night:
"Married couples should never stop courting," says Paget. Pick a time and consider it a treat -- not one more thing on your to-do list. Think it's a downer to plan for sex? News flash: You basically always did. "A lot of what seemed like spontaneous sex really wasn't. You had it on dates, weekends, vacation -- times you knew it would happen," she explains. "Planned sex can still be hot sex."

Get busy anywhere but your bed:
Using the dining room table for something other than dining adds variety, but there's another reason to ditch the bedroom: "One of my new-mom clients said that she was always so tired that anytime she hit the mattress, she just wanted to sleep!" says Paget.

Try spontaneous hugging:
Try this hug hint: Sneak up behind your husband and wrap your arms around him, says Paget. "Men have 'breast receptors' all over their bodies," she says with a laugh. "Your chest feels great against his back -- it's a big turn-on."

Use the past as an aphrodisiac:
Not a fan of talking dirty? Take a stroll down your shared sexual memory lane with your husband instead. "All it has to be is 'Remember when you did X?'" says Paget. It's likely to get you a repeat performance.

Stop focusing on the big O:
"Rediscover the bases!" says Paget. Take the pressure off by seeing how good you can make each other feel without any "goal" in mind.

Surprise him in the shower:
Kids are unlikely to be suspicious of mom and dad being in the bathroom together in the morning. And if you both shampoo while you’re in there, it's a time-saver!

Dip into your kids' toy chest:
You paid for all those board games -- now use them! Make up your own rules and play to win in the strip version.

Share a fantasy:
Not only is curiosity sexy, it also has the power to shift your relationship, says Paget. "Too many people have 'psychic sex,'" she explains. "They think they know what the other person wants, when often they may be hiding the same desires."

Type up a turn-on:
Sending a racy email or text message to your husband takes seconds -- just take proper precautions if your kids can read.

Build anticipation:

As your husband is walking out the door in the morning, tell him what you can't wait to do with him that night, says Paget. (Use code words so your kids won't understand.) The two of you will feel excited all day.

Recreate your first dates:
Bring back the initial lust you felt by revisiting the spots you went to in the beginning of your relationship. Or if you've moved since then, at least bring back that level of creativity when you go out, says Paget. "The key is to pay that much attention to your mate," she explains.

Break your patterns:
If you do moves in a certain order in bed, change it up! "Or set rules, like hands or mouth only tonight," says Paget.

Get book smart:
Buy a book of new sexual positions, curl up on the couch with your husband and ask if there are some he'd like to try. "Men are used to being the ones who have to approach women, and they never forget the sting of rejection," says Paget. "He'll love it if you take initiative."

Ignore the clock:
Stop viewing sex as a nighttime activity, advises Paget. "You may be too tired to do it then anyway!" Fooling around on a Saturday afternoon while your kids play outside can be very steamy.

Get him in a lip-lock:
Daily intimate gestures are key to a sizzling sex life, says Paget, and kissing is the No. 1 thing that turns women on. "Pull him close and say, 'I adore kissing you,'" she advises.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for the advice. I'm going to try to work on some of these.